What Does Dating Look Like During Lockdown? -Are You, Finding Love or Lust In Lockdown?

The standards of what single men and women are looking for during this pandemic and how they go about dating has significantly changed. You would think that removing almost every avenue for dating from no open restaurants, cocktail bars, outdoor activities to clubs/ pubs – would deter singles. In reality, over the past year, both in and out of national lockdowns and tiers, the dating world has certainly kept its pace, if not thrived in some ways. This pandemic is forcing conversation and not just the basics but, motivating more intense, descriptive conversations, as a society, we are now more interested in truly getting to know each other, which I don’t think is a bad thing. The so-called ‘talking stages’ of the relationship is now heavily influenced by a variety of factors directly related to the pandemic so, now with so much uncertainty of when life shall return to normalcy or if that’s even a possibility at this rate, there has most definitely been a change in what people are looking for whether it be stability, intimacy or just simple companionship, with no strings attached. The fact is, there is a clear shift in why people want someone. For example, more people are seeking a desire for a relationship from the basis of feeling lonely during this time, even more, so that some are quick to introduce the agreement of ‘friends with benefits to fill a void. And in this instance, it’s clear that everyone is doing what they need to do to get by during these very strange times, the fact is, no one wants to feel lonely or sit back and watch their friends in couples! You see, everyone has needs and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The lockdown has made many realise how much they need that comfort from being close to or intimate with someone.

Does dating in the current situation set up budding relationships or future relationships for longer-lasting success?

People who are currently dating in lockdown are now having a crash course in learning how to work at relationships, put the effort in, nourish them, keep them alive, keep them spontaneous but most of all these restrictions are showing who is really prepared to put the effort in and who isn’t. The questions people are asking are; ‘do I deserve you? Do you deserve me?’ because what is starting to happen is people are dating in reverse when there’s nothing to do you learn if you’re actually compatible.

What I’ve discovered is how precious going on dates really are, and not only for the experience of dressing up, going out and having fun with that potential someone but also the enjoyment of physical company rather than just speaking/ texting on the phone. Quality time with another provides you with a clearer insight into how the other person is like, you’re able to observe and understand much more such as; their likes, dislikes, bad habits, turn on’s, turn off’s etc It’s similar to finding the pieces to a puzzle, it might take you some time but eventually, you get there. The mixture of going on a date with that potential someone creates a different more intriguing dynamic because you’re within each other’s company but, you could say before the pandemic, with the accessibility of physical dating there were more reasons to quit the ‘getting to know each other stage before it really kick-started knowing that options were not as limited. Though, right now a lot of people are taking more time to have those meaningful discussions to really pinpoint a person’s intentions whilst enjoying the actual process of ‘dating‘ and with no titles or serious commitment. After all, let’s be real, people are less willing to:

1. Waste time on unserious candidates
2. Tolerate ghosting behaviour
3. Put up with those showing any red flags.

People are being much more selective with their choices of who to date and are entertaining conversations, singles are more up for enjoying the actual process of dating and getting to know people who are genuinely potential candidates, however, other groups of singles are craving intimacy to such an extent that they are overlooking potential red flags or things that might previously have been deal-breakers just for the opportunity to have someone to talk to or meet with when need be. So, this brings about the debate, Are you finding love or lust in lockdown? To be frank, I think this comes down to your own personal experiences with relationships/ situationships. I for one is newly single and is new to the dating scene so whilst yes, this is a difficult time to be single and in lockdown, I most definitely carry the ‘go with the flow type of attitude. Before the lockdown, I honestly never would have expected going to a stranger’s flat, walking around the streets of London or simply chilling in a car for a first date but, because options are so limited, it has made me reconsider what I’m prepared to do to get to know people. Likewise, I’ve come to notice a change in men’s attitudes when dating during the lockdown, there is less pressure to spend money to impress a girl just to get to know her, guys are becoming more forward with their intentions and can make better judgements whether the connection is sincere or materialistic. I think collectively we’ve all had to get creative with dating during lockdown whilst drawing our boundaries, but moving forward some things are definitely going to change for the better.

Dating is fun, it’s flirty, it’s enjoyable so despite any circumstances we are currently facing just make the most of it.

Yours Truly Sasi