Violence Against Girls & Women Is Real Life, Now Is The Time For Change!

Women shouldn’t have to be careful with what they wear, walk home anxious, grip their keys in their hand as they wander home, be told to stay in groups and not to go out late at night. Women shouldn’t need to be taught safety precautions, be advised to look over their shoulders, feel scared by footsteps from behind, walk in the direction of oncoming traffic just to be seen. Women shouldn’t feel the need to send texts saying ‘be safe’, text me when you get home and take extra care. Women shouldn’t have to take longer routes, change into trainers after a night out just in case they need to run, feel apprehensive of bushes and shadows, not wear earphones, make fake phone calls or be taught how to defend themselves, just in case … Women deserve to feel safe, live in a world with boundaries and respect but unfortunately, that’s not the reality we live.

The news of Sarah Everard is similar to so many, alongside Blessing Olusegun, Nicole Smallman, and Bibaa Henry, all women who, in their deaths, have been failed by the police and the sad truth is that she was just walking home! Something we all do as human beings but something we shouldn’t have to overthink though, in the world, we live in we do. Every day is a mental preparation of all the possibilities of what could happen the moment you step out your door and of course, there is no certainty that you’ll be 100% safe but it’s the conscious effort of doing all that you can to be safe and minimise the risks. Sarah Everard (along with many other women) is our nations representation of doing all the right things yet she still experienced those unfortunate events, why? Because she’s a woman? Was the time too late for her to walk home alone? Or should she have stayed on the phone the whole route home? Why was Sarah Everard a target? There are no answers for what took place, of course, it is understandable that a case as appalling as this would arouse visceral and emotional reactions, leaving people feeling utterly disgusted. How utterly heartbreaking is it to recognise that it took losing yet another life in the fight to stop violence against women and girls to remind society how far we still have to go to make an active change. In fact, violence against women and girls affects one in three women globally and is one of the most widespread abuses of human rights worldwide, in times of both conflict and peace.

As a community, we feel the rage that so many other women still haven’t been served justice or been found. Rage that 97% of all young women in the UK have been sexually harassed. Rage for victim-blaming. Rage for not believing women. I am one of the 97%. And 97% means that most, if not all of you women in your life have been sexually harassed or abused. We are all around you. We may not speak about it for fear of judgement or not being believed but this statistic is real life. But, the more we have these conversations the easier it will become to confidently talk about and the easier it will be for other people to recognise that sexual assault is very much a real issue.

The mainstream news might have died down on this topic but women’s safety is still a massive issue we simply cannot ignore. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere! It’s not all men but this experience is all women, the conversation around violence is limited but having that discussion is an active step towards change. The sad reality is that even when women follow these so-called “rules” and take all the precautions they are still targeted. In fact, we have taken the burden of the pain and death caused by violent men and placed it on the victims; women. Recognise the obvious fact – that it is appalling to attempt to normalise Sarah Everard, Blessing Olusegun, Nicole Smallman, Bibaa Henry and more women’s death. This tragic case should not be viewed as a routine part of women’s experiences, despite the extraordinary nature of what we know about their cases so far. Women should not modify their behaviour for fear of being murdered as a consequence of all that is happening. The aim is not to encourage women to limit their freedom in response to outrageous crimes or to encourage women to fear any random man they pass on the street. Instead, we should acknowledge the realities underpinning such cases although with that being said, we should not allow ourselves to be consumed to the extent of fear. Recognise that most men are not violent and If there is anything we can learn from these events is that it is extremely dangerous to shape everyday life around extraordinary tragedies. Though it is still up to us to prevent being attacked and staying silent only promotes ignorance of what is happening in this world. Women are not the ones that need to change society is. Sexual harassment is something women have to deal with on a daily and it needs to change.

we need to get to the root of the problem

we need to learn and change certain behaviours

we need to make women feel safe everywhere

Yours Truly Sasi