The Road Into The Twenties

Having reached my early twenties, of course, the first thing I thought was “finally!”. As soon as I turned 20 this stage of adulthood introduced a sense of serious maturity even more so, the jump from age 20 to 22 was definitely a period of self-reflection and meditation on setting improved values, morals and expectations. As a matter of fact, as we age naturally we continue to raise the expectation bar even higher, which increases the likelihood of being self-critical, to work even harder.

Looking back, I find the concept of age to be very ironic. I can remember the hype of turning sixteen, expecting ease in curfew and freedom to go out and have more time to enjoy different experiences yet merely disregarding the pressures of exams. I was convinced of this imaginary idea that sixteen would automatically present a change in perspective from others and provide a maturer treatment but how I was so wrong! This disappointment only motivated the coming of age eighteen, as I would be guaranteed a golden ticket out the house into my own living space and an escape from a life of restriction, however, eighteen instead provided me with a serious wakeup call! All of a sudden I wasn’t prepared to endure adulthood, and desperately regretted not appreciating my teenage years.

Though I have learned a lot over these years; I’ve grown in my confidence and independence; I’ve realised the importance of acknowledging my own opinions of myself rather than the opinions of others, also to focus on the people in my life who matter and contribute value; I’ve gradually started to fathom the things I enjoy and comprehend what I’m good at, in hope of finding a future in it; I’ve experienced various opportunities, from attending University to travelling across Europe, and even starting this blog, something I’ve found great delight and comfort in. I am pleased with the person I am right now, my attitude and outlook on my life have altered the woman I am today and of course, I still have plenty more growing up and learning to do. Twenty-two years is probably only the first quarter of my life, and I’m hoping that the best is yet to come.

Being very early into my twenties today I want to discuss some guidelines I feel can help any adult facing their early twenties to prepare themselves adequately for the life ahead in this world we live in.

So often do I hear that our twenties, is the defining decade where our decisions made contributes highly towards who we become personally and professionally. So far I have been expected to finish University and potentially begin navigating my way through a decade filled with goals to build a positive foundation for life. I will admit this pressure constantly brings about fear, of making the wrong decisions which increase my sense of anxiety but, the fact is as young adults we are still very much impressionable. Fortunately, we learn quickly and apply these lessons to our lives almost instantly.

During this stage in our lives, we have the freedom to experiment but also learn a lot from our outcomes, and so far two years in on my journey I agree with this philosophy.  I’ve noticed, even more, living in an era characterised by the heavy use of social media how much people tend to prioritise on having fun, living lavish and focusing on the image due to societies high expectations and views of acceptation. As a result, we generally spend a considerable amount of time on perfectionism in three forms: self-oriented – a desire to be perfect; socially prescribed – a desire to live up to others’ expectations; and other-oriented – holding others to unrealistic standards. Yes, to some degree the concept of perfectionism can, of course, be a positive force but with the right connections – finding positive influences to mirror and learn from will guarantee an increase of motivation to work hard and succeed. Although, being ambitious also motivates a need to strive at the risk of your identity becoming too wrapped into the goal. Unfortunately, these efforts cause low self-esteem and in the end, are pointless!

The aim is to remain true to yourself! Live life on your own terms because this life belongs to you and you only! I can imagine with the exposure to social media it is increasingly tempting to use other peoples expectations as a way by which you measure and compare your own accomplishments, this simply prevents a feeling of sincere fulfilment. Live according to your personal values and principles rather than societies misconception of acceptance and ultimately impress yourself on your own accomplishments. Identify how your core values are the key principle in guiding your actions and moral compass throughout life. My advice is to create values that are important to you, then try to shift your focus to living according to them. In theory, this sounds very simple, by doing so this can support improvement towards your personal maturity and maintain a responsible life.

Keep in mind that your twenties are about learning how to use your tools effectively, while regularly gathering more significant, more complex tools. Never stop reading, learning, asking the right questions, and challenging yourself. The world has endless opportunities to keep learning. This determinant actually persuaded me to read more and advocate in a campaign to educate myself on any topic that inspires me.

Regardless of my personal philosophy, I understand there will be times when the world pushes against you and your values. Moments when your mind shall be challenged by your experiences. Everyone’s journey is different and I am unable to determine which strategy shall work best for you, however, I can confirm that your twenties are in fact the defining decade, every decision you make from here on can change the rest of your life. Once you’re in your 30’s or 40’s, it gets harder and harder to reinvent yourself, but never impossible. So be more mindful x

Yours Truly Sasi