The 5 Love languages to Strengthen Any Relationship

How we express affection is usually profoundly influenced by what we have learnt growing up meaning, what one person values may not be the same for another. For example; if your family appreciates spending quality time together, you may value the same quality in a friend or partner. Although, for the families who may not usually express public forms of affection this can prompt a feeling of embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically which, could extend into adulthood because you’re simply not used to experiencing that first hand. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love. In the end, we express affection the way we interpret it because that’s what makes the most sense. So, the concept of love can easily be lost in translation but in life, we receive the opportunity to choose to do things differently in our adult relationships.

What are the 5 love languages?

1. Words Of Affirmation –

People with words of affirmation as a love language particularly value verbal acknowledgements of affection, including frequent compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and digital communication like texting. The idea of this love language is that words place a meaningful, special, and reassuring significance. Fact is, you appreciate when you are being acknowledged and praised despite who it is expressed from, the point is that it’s nice to have your efforts recognised with kind words, no matter how small it is. This gesture lets you know that you are valued especially if it’s out of the blue. Incorporating this love language into a relationship is simple, when you notice the good things, say it and say it often. Try not to engage in nonconstructive criticism because words do have an impact and leave a permanent impression. So choose them wisely.

2. Acts of services –

Acts of service speak highly for the people who believe that “actions speak louder than words”. I for one most definitely relate to this love language as it is very much a non-verbal form of affection that involves giving up your time, which is worth the effort if it applies to someone you care for. People tend to cherish the moments when someone else goes out of their way to make their life easier, for instance; if you’ve fallen sick and someone else takes responsibility like cooking food, providing medicine and just overall comfort. People on this list truly appreciate others taking responsibility, and taking action. Identifying whether this love language is your own preference or someone else’s can go a long way in strengthening any type of relationship. Take note that the main objective is to find a way to work together in order to achieve the mutually-desired results although many times, this can be a difficult love language to implement, as it requires a lot of time to understand the other person’s likes and vice versa. Things you can do to perform this act involves: Paying attention to detail, utilizing your strengths to offer the right service, focusing on the act that is easy to accommodate and recognising the things which are not as appreciated from the individual.

3. Quality time –

Quality time is the love language that centres around togetherness. It is all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention. Think about it. The beginning of any relationship between either a friend, relative or partner requires quality time together in order for the relationship to grow and to develop. When you’re with that individual, the objective is to switch off from distractions to primarily focus on them and, when you do they feel important, loved, and special as though you were intentional in setting aside time just for them. People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when there is a strong desire expressed from another to actively spend time with them and is always up for the chance to do so. In particular, active listening, eye contact, and full presence are prioritised hallmarks in the relationship. Unfortunately, thanks to technology, quality time with others are becoming more technical. Even when we are physically around others, we are either someplace else mentally, deep in our own thoughts or scrolling through our phone.

It’s very understandable if this love language isn’t your preference, independence is considered of high value to many, therefore, too much time spent with another can seem quite suffocating. However, it is all about finding a balance and that starts with good communication. There is nothing wrong with appreciating your own space, however, for those who do value quality time understanding the deeper meaning behind this love language can truly bring you closer to them. Most people assume quality time focuses on spending a lot of time together or going out a lot. Though, If that were the case, things could get extremely repetitive and expensive. In fact, loving quality time is all about how you spend the time that you have together. No matter what you are doing, if you are attentive and focused, the other will feel loved.

To sum up, time is precious, and it’s meaningful to soak in any second of your time with the special people in your life. Creating memories and special moments together is a fundamental aspect to life and if sharing new experiences means a lot to them then It’s important to make time for others, to prioritise them in your schedule, and not cancel plans. But all in proportion.

4. Receiving Gifts –

Gifts is a pretty straightforward love language: You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love”. This love language is my most relatable form of affection, yes, in some ways this can be perceived as quite greedy or as if the person is fixated on things versus the concept of love itself, however, I assure you that is not the case. In reality, receiving or giving gifts is not about the monetary value but instead the symbolic thought behind the item. People who relate to this style of love language understand and appreciate the process of gift-giving; the careful reflection, the conscious choice of the object to represent the relationship and the emotional benefits from receiving the present. There is a great sense of satisfaction introduced from giving and receiving gifts, a true representation of sentimentality, not so much the extravagance. Despite, how big, small, cheap or expensive, a person who feels loved through these items shall most likely cherish the gift as well as the thought behind it. Now, every time the person sees this gift, it will serve as a reminder that they are loved.

If speaking the gifts love language doesn’t come naturally to you, it’s still important to try learning the language since it might be one your friend/ partner/ relative/ co-worker etc speaks. “Just like you put a filter on an Instagram post, look at things in your daily life through the lens of ‘gift-giving“. To determine if this is your or someone else’s love language you should analyse if there is a high level of enthusiasm displayed from receiving a gift, if there is a feeling to place the item on display or maybe even admire the gift to friends, the whole idea is a feeling of happiness expressed from the gesture. On the hand, the negative side of knowing a person’s love languages is that you become equipped with the knowledge of how you might hurt that individual and vice versa. So in the case of someone who speaks gifts as their love language, not getting them a gift on maybe an anniversary or special occasion would be quite hurtful to them, as would approaching the gift-giving as more of an obligation rather than an opportunity. The key is to give meaningful things that matter to them and reflect their values, not necessarily yours to make them happy.

5. Physical Touch –

Physical touch as a love language is not all about sexual intimacy actually a simple hug, shoulder squeeze, or even handhold can be an expression of love that is just as meaningful to the person you care for. Sexual expressions of love are used in most romantic relationships, though the significance of physical touch as their love language is that they value receiving physical signs of affection. Physically touching someone (with consent) is one of the best ways to build a bridge and increase feelings of connectedness. Touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people who especially connect to this love language. Like previously mentioned, this roots back to childhood experiences, some people only felt deep affection and love by their parents when they were held, hugged, kissed, or touched. However, What if you’re not a touchy person? What if you and your partner are waiting to have sex? what if you live 100+ miles away from your friend/relative or partner? well, the idea is that learning to express your love through intimate touch is indeed possible, despite limiting factors. For example; If you’re doing long-distance, the physical aspects involved in that relationship is not an option, however, video chats have made it possible to be together when you’re not physically together. Body language is just as expressive as verbal language, When you’re on video chat you’re given the opportunity to provide your undivided attention and use inviting body language to show that you’re physical with them.

You don’t have to speak the same love language to have a healthy, lasting, fulfilling relationship with everyone in your life. You just have to know how to communicate your needs to them whatever those may be. The matter of the fact is communication is a key component of every healthy relationship and it’s especially significant if you wish to achieve a long-lasting relationship with any loved one.

Comment down below your love languages

Yours Truly Sasi