Stop Giving People Discounts & Add Tax On Your Worth!

We’ve all been there – to that place of absolute comfort with the wrong people, maybe experienced some disrespectful moments but let it slide one too many times or ignored cheeky comments for the sake of the relationship. Too often do we forget that “you are your longest commitment” and the fact is, you allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency with which others will transact with.

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

I’ve witnessed numerous situations where a person has settled for less, simply accepting their situation for what it is when deep down, they believe they deserve more but, do nothing about it. I’m sure you know of someone who appears to have their sh*t together, but when it comes to certain relationships they fail to get real and confront the issue. Although, the objective is not to judge others for being/ been in this situation because every experience is completely different. Instead, the aim today is to understand the value of knowing your worth because not everyone can afford your bill.

At this point, you may be wondering what it is meant to ‘know your worth’? Well, do you ever have one of those moments where you reflect on a memory and reminisce about how badly someone used to treat you and think, “why the fu*k did I ever put up with that sh*it?” That thought is exactly what knowing your worth is! It’s the ability to recognise you deserve SO much better than what you are receiving! The moment you allow a person to mistreat you, disrespect you and lie to you, your self-esteem is being destroyed in the process. One thing to learn is that there are some very manipulative human beings in this world, who have the ability to influence your thoughts, to convince you that you are the problem and in the end, your self-judgement is altered due to that person no longer providing you with the validation you’re used to receiving from them. But wake up, that’s MANIPULATION at it’s finest! As a result, you are made to feel like something is wrong with you, and when your self-esteem suffers, your self-worth does too.

For those who are reading that can relate, it’s not your fault if this is/or was your experience, you are a victim to manipulation. In those moments when your self-esteem is low, you forget your self-worth and what you deserve. That feeling of being too afraid to exit a bad relationship, comes from a lack in a confident mentality, thinking you will never receive better than what you currently have. During the process, your self-esteem becomes so shattered to the point that you can no longer calculate the value of your worth. However, for those who are on the outside looking in, understand that it’s not so simple to save someone from this reality but, it is a common tendency to blame others for their lack of awareness. Like I said, its a whole process and therefore, will take the individual time to heal from their experience but any support goes a long way.

The problem is that we are trained to place our worth in the hands of someone else. We give other people the power to determine what we are worth because our self-esteem dissolves the moment we feel their ‘love’ slipping away. Understand that NO ONE should ever obtain that sort of power to determine your worth except YOU. In life, there are going to be many moments where you’ll be forced to stand alone in order to be treated with respect. You can’t fear being alone, in fact, you should never be afraid of this. It’s incredibly important that you establish your relationship with yourself first and foremost before you go seeking one with others. Lesson #1: love yourself. Why waste time negotiating your worth with someone else? Rather, invest that time in adding tax and service on your worth. Despite how another person makes you feel, or what they say about you, they cannot determine your self-worth, that is entirely up to you! That is why it is called ‘self’ worth, you have the ability to trust and confide in yourself to make the most suitable decisions for you. Know your value and don’t accept being treated in a way less than you deserve.

In life, it would be wise to create your own destiny within your different existing relationships. Meaning with friends, family or partners embrace knowing that each person is a unique piece to your puzzle. Some will be lifetime companions, some are just social advocates, some acquaintances. Learn to appreciate the various types and unique forms of value each character presents, as well as a system of how much and what kind of energy for you to invest in. Recognise your inner circle is sacred and should be thoughtfully selective. I’ve learned to embrace self-love in all aspects of my life, and while I’m a perpetual student in this journey, I actively apply this method in dealing with my relationships. My advice to you is to stop apologizing for the person you are, learn that you are “perfect” the way you are right here, right now. You will constantly be growing, evolving and working on bad habits, but those imperfections are part of the beauty that makes you, you. In any relationship, recognise that “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.“

I hope this post has motivated you to view yourself with more value! Remember, when you know your worth, you never compromise or settle for anything less than what you deserve. Don’t allow people to lower your standards instead raise the bar high. The moment when you lose control of yourself is when they gain power over you. Stand your ground and demand respect, through your actions.

Yours Truly Sasi