PTRS: ‘All It Takes Is One Traumatic Experience’

An ending of a relationship can most definitely introduce a mass of different feelings, some of which are predicted whilst the others unforeseeable. The reality is, the process of dealing with the ‘acceptance‘ stage of the situation has the ability to create complicated yet extremely confusing feelings. There is no denying that when dealing with the aftermath of a relationship is by no means an easy experience. Okay, you may feel a sense of relief when exiting a negative situation, or feel upset and disappointed with the outcome however, there is a very clear line drawn between reflecting through the events of the relationship, like taking some time to digest the outcome and experiencing post-traumatic relationship stress. The problem is that not many people feel too comfortable talking about their past traumas amidst the worry of feeling judged or criticised by their decisions to stay/ endure the relationship and rightfully so! One thing for sure is that those who are closest to you are the most critical usually coming from a place of sincere care. Therefore, understanding the true effects of PTRS is difficult especially for the individual feeling the impacts. If you’re coming out of a relationship with intense baggage, exhibit anxiety from moving on, feeling intense depression, loneliness or stress then you may be struggling with PTRS as a result of a negative relationship. But, recognise that it is completely natural to engage in a period of grief for the loss of a relationship because at some point that individual was your other half, your friend and partner. Though whether you qualify for PTRS, or are simply having a difficult time moving on, these feelings are very real, and they can prevent you from finding a healthier, happier relationship in the future.

What is PTRS?

Post-Traumatic Relationship Stress (PTRS) is a mental health syndrome that occurs after the experience of trauma in an intimate relationship. PTRS stems from the fear, mistrust, and trauma that occurred within a romantic relationship and can be defined as an anxiety disorder that can occur after the experience of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse in the context of an intimate partner relationship.

Managing a break up in itself is a hard task to tackle. Depending on the extent of that relationship, the trauma can mark deep-rooted scars that affect your overall mental wellbeing. Fact is, once an abusive or toxic relationship ends, intense feelings of loneliness may set in and there is a general sense of wasted time, lost days, months, years of life, and a general desire to just move on altogether though unfortunately, it’s never as easy as that. All of the above sets a person up to be in a very vulnerable mental and emotional state. There is such a dependency that is created in a toxic relationship that once you have escaped, it’s common to wonder, ‘did I do the right thing?‘ or ‘was this really my fault?’. In all seriousness, there truly is so much to examine when facing PTRS simply due to the very nature of the circumstances you fell into.

How to deal with PTRS:

Sadly, not many people understand the severity of the impacts of PTRS, essentially the anxiety associated with post-trauma relationships places a high effect on other relationships involved including; friends, family, work colleagues etc. Although in this instance to deal with your trauma, you must indeed talk to someone, address the issues and communicate those feelings. The goal is to start re-centring yourself to focus on yourself and to re-pattern your attention. Often the most challenging situations have the most to teach us and can act as a catalyst for change and this type of change comes from within. With the right support, you can reclaim your own personal power and learn to love yourself so seeking support is indeed power, the chance to recognise your strengths and aspirations and find your voice again all by receiving help to target depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic symptoms.

“Anything human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”

Yours Truly Sasi