Does The Number Of People You’ve Been Intimate With Really Matter?

For every new relationship you find yourself in, there comes a time when you and your partner speak of the past and plan for the future, especially when things are growing serious and commitments are maturing. With that being said, is the topic of ‘body counts’ relevant in a relationship? or simply unnecessary Information in this day and age? To be completely honest, I feel as though the whole subject of body counts receives too much importance within society however, having said that, to some degree, there must be some relevance on this subject considering I’m choosing to write about it. All in all, the questioning of body counts is definitely something people are asking but personally, I think this is a question that shouldn’t be asked especially if you’re expecting a particular answer in return. In such instances, I assume when women are asked this question, there is a glimpse of hope the number is a singular digit or realistically below a specific figure however, by doing so, you’re just creating an opportunity for unnecessary disappointment if the answer is not what you like. Although realistically, why does it even matter? If a woman has slept with a high number of men, does this alter the importance of sex experience with you? Likewise, If a man has slept with 100+ women, does that make him a player? In all honesty, It shouldn’t but the reality is perception creates this stigma that it does and this is the issue. There remains heavy controversy surrounding body counts, If a woman has a low number, she is considered to be ‘wifey material’ alternatively if a woman has been intimate with a lot of men, she is an easy candidate for sex, perception creates this false narrative.

Due to societies perception of what is socially acceptable, a large portion of women either escape from the reality of their body count or exercise their right not to share it, to avoid unwanted judgement from others. Thinking about it, the moment someone adds up the digits of your love life, they automatically make assumptions about you, which isn’t always negative, but for some, it can be. I can almost guarantee the women with a high body count lie about their number when asked or implicitly confide in a friend they absolutely trust but other than that she will lie. Speaking from experiences expressed by my friends, the consideration here for lying is, she herself feels like her number is too high or because she feels like she will be judged. Ultimately, the social perception surrounding ‘high body counts‘ has made women feel as though they have something to be ashamed of. This stigma indeed carries this misconception that having a high number of intimate partners somehow makes a woman less classy/ or desirable has significantly imprinted its way into the minds of society, where now the majority of women feed into this need to lie just to fit the socially acceptable paradigm of what is an attractive woman (strictly speaking from the female perspective).

Personally, I champion getting an optimal orgasm by any means necessary. Despite my personal religious views on sexual intimacy, I completely support a woman’s choice to do what she wants with her vagina, by all means, experience, experiment, explore, but safely! I think that’s the biggest concern, to practice safe sex rather than focus on the subject of how many sexual partners you’ve had. A woman’s vagina belongs to her and she’s free to do whatever she will with it, sex is sex and high body counts do not signify promiscuity. In this respect, I feel as though it’s key to view the reality of having various sexual partners from a completely different perspective, a high number could imply a troubled childhood, escapism or even depression, in fact, some women silently carry a low body count for the same reasons. We must take notice that forms of mental health are very much present in today times and as a result, they do impact our relationships as well as sexual experiences. On the contrary, having a high body count could simply mean the individual enjoys sex -SEX POSITIVITY! Millennials ethic of open-mindedness objects to the old social rules and regulations that their parents and grandparents unintentionally shaped. Some of the generations are mad about slut-shaming, homophobia, rape culture and some including me are also critical of the notion that being sexually liberated means having a certain type and amount of sex. In all honesty, I believe it is truly no one’s business to know how many sexual partners you’ve had, excluding doctors of course. You are in every right to choose not to disclose this piece of information, because at the end of the day, can you ever 100% know whether the person is telling the truth or not? No, you can’t! So what is the point in asking? I say, be free in the choices you make, enjoy your sexual experiences and always get checked for STD’s, safe sex is the best sex! However, be well aware that every time you give your body to someone, they have a piece of you – soul ties.

Yours Truly Sasi