Be Brave Enough To Walk Away From A Toxic Relationship

When you’re in a healthy relationship, everything kind of flows the way it’s supposed to because you genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Of course, there are bumps in the road, that’s normal in any type of relationship but the idea is that you generally make decisions together, openly address any problems that arise, and work through them to move forward. However, toxic relationships are a completely different story. Depending on the nature of the relationship, signs of toxicity can be extremely subtle or profoundly obvious. Frankly, you should be concerned the instant your partner makes you feel as though you’re not good enough, flips the switch to make you the primary cause of every problem or damages your self-esteem. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you may recognise some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself.

Take note, there is a thin line drawn between a toxic relationship and an outright abusive one. Patterns of incidents from controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional abuse is an indication of domestic violence/ abuse. Seeking professional help to a therapist or opening up to close friends/ family members could help you regain your confidence to break free of that destructive thought pattern. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the harder it can be to remove yourself from it, so for your own sake and for your mental, physical or emotional wellbeing don’t hesitate to walk away.

The 10 Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship:

1. Lack of support – A healthy relationship is based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life. The objective is to work as a team, provide sufficient support and be genuine with those intentions.
2. A clear imbalance of power – Ideally, relationships are a union between equals. Clearly, every aspect of a relationship won’t have perfectly balanced power dynamics but overall, the relationship should be balanced out. No one should have that much power over you, EVER!
3. They’re controlling & excessively jealous – A partner who insists on being aware of your every movement, questions your intentions, insists on doing everything together or doesn’t even allow you to be by yourself is a toxic relationship.
4. Resentment– Often, resentment stems from a lack of practical and emotional balance. Habitual poor behaviours or unhealthy patterns feed hostility.
5. One-sided effort – Equitable reciprocity is key, a strong foundation is built from a partnership, with both parties co-creating fulfilment which ultimately = a two-sided situation.
6. Making constant excuses for their bad behaviour – If you’re continuously trying to justify your partner’s actions, debate whether it’s their emotional unavailability, lack of empathy, the habit of being offensive to your loved ones, or lack of support, that’s a red flag. Making excuses to others for bad behaviour is likely because you know they are seeing something you are not.
7. A Situationship vs Entanglement – As relationships start to develop you gain the opportunity to get to know each other better, talk about the future and eventually determine whether the person is a right match for you. Usually, after a couple of months, there’s a talk of exclusivity but, in a toxic relationship, that talk never usually happens. Avoid being available to those who do not have the right intentions. Rather, strive to find someone who is reading the same page.
8. They don’t bring out the best in you – The best you could be is someone who is truly happy, confident and true to yourself. If you become the opposite of that when you’re around your partner, begin feeling anxious, experience low self-esteem, then you should definitely reassess your relationship. Ideally, you want to find a partner who makes you a better version of yourself, not creates the worse.
9. Placed a pause on practising self-care – Self-care is vital for every relationship to keep toxicity out, without it, you’re not introducing your best self to the relationship. The problem roots from focusing your attention and energy more on being liked than on truly being understood and nurtured. Stay authentic to yourself first and foremost.
10. Constant hope for them to change – No doubt that your judgement is often clouded in a toxic relationship as you’re putting your faith in change that will never come. A willingness to stay is often convinced of the false belief that potential change or development shall occur. Recognise that holding out hope for the relationship to change based on times of harmony, and positive aspects does not mean you should stay.

Exiting a toxic relationship can be a truly painful, damaging experience which is never easy to do immediately. So, to successfully walk away from a negative situation is an extremely brave and strong move. The matter of the fact is, it takes a lot of will power to find the courage to finally leave a situation and move forward in life. In most cases, it is at this exact stage when they decide to fight harder for you to stay, they are more manipulative and more toxic than ever, why? Because the ball is in your court. Although, letting go will likely introduce feelings of guilt, resentment and anxiety for the person you thought you had but, on the bright side, there is room for self-growth and the opportunity to learn from the experience. The aim is to keep moving forward and accept every hurtful experience for what it is in order to fuel your next steps. Choose your own health and happiness over their need to control you because the moment you do it will be worth every tear, stress, anxiety or depression. Remember, if you need the help, seek it, there is no shame in that.

Yours Truly Sasi